What kind of monsters would JUST ADD WATER author, Hunter Shea, like to grow in his own laboratory? Find out (if you dare…):
Trying to whittle down my favorite monsters to the top 5 wasn’t easy. For a card-carrying horror hound, it’s a true Sophie’s Choice. I love ugly and scary, and there are just so many lurking in my brainpan. So I had to ask myself, which 5 monsters would I love to watch devour today’s true monsters, the media and politicians? Let the games begin!
5. Gill-Man from The Creature from the Black Lagoon– Look, he’s the last and my favorite of the Universal monsters. It would be kinda fun to watch him swat people’s faces off and run away with Megyn Kelly.
4. Hedorah in Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster– I have to say, this pollution-inspired kaiju freaked me out as a kid. It could vaporize people just by flying over them. Even as a young ‘un, I knew it was a metaphor for the atomic bomb. And that was no joke to us Cold War babies.
3. Alien Creature in John Carpenter’s The Thing– This is my all time favorite movie, both because of the great cast and that ever changing, gut churning alien that morphed into dogs, people and spider heads. I can just picture a dripping, savage beast with the heads of Trump, Hillary, Putin and Chris Wallace finally working in tandem to devour the world.
2. Parasite Eels in Slither– Those fat eels just give me the willies. Wouldn’t it be fun to drop the people we can’t stand in a tub and watch those parasites crawl inside them? Okay, I just made myself squeamish.
1. Xenomorph in Alien– The extraterrestrial Xenomorphs in the Alien movies are the singly most terrifying creatures ever depicted on the silver screen. I would die from fright two seconds after coming face to face with one. I mean, even their blood can kill you! They would drain the swamp in about an hour.
It’s fun! It’s easy! They only cost a measly dollar. Just clip out the ad in your comic book. Then ask Mom to mail it in. A few weeks later, receive a packet of instant Sea Serpent dust. Then:
Just add water . . . and watch them grow!
What Could Go Wrong?
Just ask David and Patrick. Their “instant pets” are instant duds. They don’t hatch, they don’t grow, they don’t do anything. So they dump them into the sewer where Dad pours toxic chemicals . . .
Wait Until Feeding Time.
It’s been years since David and Patrick thought about those Sea Serpents. But now, small animals are disappearing in the neighborhood. Strange slimy creatures are rising from the sewers. And once the screaming starts, David and Patrick realize that their childhood pets really did come to life. With a vengeance. They’re enormous . . . and have a ravenous hunger for human flesh . . .
Praise for Hunter Shea
“Old school horror.” —Jonathan Maberry
“A lot of splattery fun.”—Publishers Weekly
“Frightening, gripping.”—Night Owl Reviews